Another BBC day around here, should have the little doggies to take care of this afternoon and maybe slip in an hour at the driving range too, see how it goes. The weather held until last night, can’t see any stars and quite warm this morning so it must be a little cloudy up there.

Craigslist is a daily stop in the van search, found something interesting at a good price but it is out in Cloverdale and with the dental surgery happening on Friday perhaps will get out to it on Thursday. Haven’t seen any of the money coming from the Drupal and server install yet, so those plans may change!

Got the old brown van mostly cleaned up inside, a full large garbage bag of junk to dispose of, the floor swept (still needs to be washed), and the windows open and it is starting to air out. Checked in on the web and email server I set up for an islander in their home and all looks good for sending and receiving email (whew!). It’s a nice little project and glad to have a go with Drupal after not using it for a couple versions/years; they have really cleaned up the old admin interface and made more sense out of the menu option groupings and looking forward to doing more with it when the client has organized in their mind what they actually want to do with it.

Nice to hear from Janice commenting in the blog, haven’t seen much of her in the last year having been concentrating on the Treehouse and occupants therein. Which reminds me…pretty sure I had her blog on my list of RSS feeds but haven’t seen a post in a long time – incentive to talk in person, way nicer! A little golf this afternoon yet to come, and another perfect little Sunday on Bowen Island will draw to a close.

And then there is the other thing. It isn’t worth doing if you won’t do it for free – good friend says, “Where did you learn that program?” He’s right about another thing, there is no reason that the sum can not be untainted and have some good for myself and the people around me done with it. Or through extreme altruism, and pass on the whole sum to someone in Haiti.

So with any luck, there will be a deposit to make to the local Credit Union in the next few days and then a large withdrawal somewhere down the line for a new place to sleep and eat.

Yesterdays post was about not losing hope, apparently she is giving up on me though and we are now officially ‘just friends’. Said it many times in my life – oh well, it is what it is.

Went up to the treehouse after the morning at the BBC and minded the doggies while she and her friends took in an Olympic hockey game. They got back to the island, and I got back to the 1985 Mazda GLC to sleep until another day. Just before retiring, a phone call and she still wants to pay me for what has been done to date on the web site project in progress. Last night under duress of tiredness it seemed like a good idea, but this morning it feels like tainted money and understanding that my brain works a lot better in the earlier part of the day I will have to refuse.

It’s a substantial sum, enough to get another vehicle like the version one van and better. A very tempting thing when you are just about to sleep on a car seat that doesn’t fold down flat and preparing to turn over five or six times during the night to work out the kinks that come with that. It feels like a worthy web site project though and as has long been said, that if something isn’t worth doing for free then it isn’t worth doing at all and I would like to see it come to fruition.

The sun will be out over the next few days, with any luck along with a complete cleaning out of debris the mold smell will be gone and it will be worthy as a sleeping place again. It didn’t take too many months to save up the $1500 for the version one van, so if van one doesn’t work out then the car will have to suffice between house/pet sitting jobs. It is what it is.

We met and talked yesterday, have the feeling when she says ‘I understand’ she really does not get it at all when I try to convey the concept of a priceless life and work when in the same breath puts a price on  it.

And I am having a hard time absorbing that she believes everything done so far is the result of the universe pushing her that way and none of the choices she has made were hers. For myself, and when I look around at other people and her can not escape that everyone makes their choices in life. Mother Nature aside that is, one can not control where or whom they are born to or earthquakes and such but at most points in time we are where we chose to be.

Not giving up on her or myself though quite just yet, we were brought and chose to be together for some reason and have the feeling that there is more to come.

It is with the greatest sense of deja vue that I sit here in the parking lot of the marina once again. About this time last year was when I met her, and it has been a very interesting and mind expanding time together.

Valentine’s Day today, an ironic day to walk away from her to say the least. It was a painful year on the inside for me, different worlds for me and her and a man can only do so much before he can’t take it anymore. It’s a feeling of  shared worlds that didn’t happen, the Michaelangelo effect perhaps in reverse. I would have loved to be accepted as who am I now and not just for my potential, the loss of that hope that it would be so, perhaps where my sadness this evening comes.

Some crying to do tonight, and tomorrow is a new dawn and the realization of it is what it is.

A nice little green Christmas here on Bowen Island this year with Margaret in the Treehouse (see pics 1, 4, & 30 and 1, 2, 19 or here or here), a stark contrast to last year alone living in the van in the snow. Talked to all the brothers on the phone and parents too, everyone is doing well. Had pizza for dinner, then Boxing day I cooked a turkey with all the trimmings and had Norma D. over to help us eat it. Lots of left overs for later!

“After years of claiming Canadian consumers disrespect copyright, the irony of having the recording industry face a massive lawsuit will not be lost on anyone, least of all the artists still waiting to be paid.”